(very real) Love Made in Second Life
Not sure if Valentine's Day is considered a "Hallmark Holiday" (it is not where it originated, that's for sure) but who cares: what matters is that in SL people find their soulmate every day!
(TL’DR: a new video with 7 little stories of love just dropped. Click here or scroll to the vid embed at the end of this post)
Just heard a podcast where folks talked about AI companionship and I felt like crying, honestly!
Because worse than making romantic relationships purely transactional as most apps do, this relatively new tech is completely abandoning any pretense that human companionship for its own sake outside of accumulation/profit has any meaning in our capitalist society …
No worries: this post is not about my opinion on those AI prototypes (i.e. algorithms designed to extract value and/or keep everybody working meaningless badly paid gigs and/or taper over that all-consuming existential malaise).
This post is about finding true love in a virtual world.
And it is also about tinies (yes, tinies - Teal and Wolfie specifically - because that’s where it all began …)
I started the “Love Made in Second Life” series pretty much exactly 5 years ago for the same reason I began producing my SL reportages in the first place (back in early 2007): I wanted to add positive stories about the people behind the avatars, as a way to counter a certain cliche narrative, perpetuated by most media.
This narrative could be summarized as: SL is a great place for 1.) cheating on your spouse, 2.) sexually assaulting random people, and 3.) all kinds of other debauchery, please choose yours from the menu.
According to these constantly regurgitated news items, SL was certainly NOT for finding a loving partner to start a stable relationship with.
Or a stable partner to start a loving relationship with ….
I wanted to show the world differently, in that a such a relationship is not only possible, but that it can also extend into “real” life.
Even for furries! 🐾
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
You can’t?
Click below then 👇
The videos became quite successful and I had many conversations over the years with friends/colleagues who conceded that yes, perhaps someone theoretically could meet in a 3D multiplayer game, and fall in love, and maybe even move in together IRL and what not. My friends would concede that there was a very rare chance amidst all those nasty affairs people were having in-world, affairs with supermodel avatars who in reality where half-naked middle aged men, sitting in their mom’s basement, waiting for pizza dinner.
(below video has no naked men, no basements and no pizza I SWEAR!)
But even with these friends admitting the hypothetical possibility, their terribly privileged stance - delivered with a strong flavor of ableism - reared its ugly head when I produced a video on virtual pregnancy:
Good lord, I am telling you: eye-rolling and martyr sighing was the kindest response..
What I learned in the response to this video was that most of my friends IRL can not fathom how role-playing pregnancy in SL is a transformative experience.
An experience of healing and love, of affirmation and self-actualizing.
An experience that for the person and couple or social group involved (including for example the caregiver or nurse or midwife or extended SL family) has positive effects that reverberate deep into the physical realm.
Anyways: I remain hopeful that we can keep an open/nuanced and critical mind when navigating digital technologies, and maybe someone in my circle of (non SL) friends surprises me one of these days after watching a Love Made in SL video?
Surprising me by acknowledging that overcoming loneliness through strong bonds in a virtual world works.
Because exploring connections on a deep level in a virtual world like SL, where place and the self is created by us as we wish, is very different from numbing one’s pain of being alone with an AI girlfriend/boyfriend, one that is owned and operated by a corporation that monetizes our deepest human needs.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
See you in-world!
PS: advice for next time, to self = when filming in furryland do as the furries do.
Do not use INSANELY HARSH FACELIGHTS ….
How sweet! My RL wife and I met in SL, and will celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary this May!